. porter || they/them .





03-30/1,449 notes via

compljcated:

and so,
i’m letting you go.
i’m erasing our conversations
and deleting our photos
and i’m going to stop making playlists for you.
you became someone i would have died for,
but it’s taken me 7 months to realize that
maybe i didn’t love you,
maybe i wanted to.
maybe i would have died for you, but i would
not have lived for you.

i think when you’re in love,
it makes you want to live forever,
but i’ve only known love in the form
of slammed doors and raised voices
and shattered hearts and terrified apologies.

so maybe the way i felt about you wasn’t love,
maybe it was fear.
fear of losing someone who made me feel like i could hold up the sky,
even on my bad days.
i never figured out that i could hold up the moon and the sun and the stars without you,
and maybe that’s what love is.


maybe love is realizing i didn’t need you,
maybe it’s realizing i dont need anyone,
understanding that i deserve it all,
and maybe a little more.

— i’m living for myself now